Love by Mom

Recently I have been loading up on advice from my Mother. We have been spending lots of time together and I have had more going on in my life for us to talk about. For those of you who have met my mother, you know her advice is both the most amazing, heart warming advice you could ever imagine, (she writes for hallmark we joke)  and also the most hilarious off the wall random thoughts that bring us to our knees.

We talk a lot about love and relationships. My mother has quite the past with men. Most notably her 6 year marriage to my gay father. I'm in the habit of not asking questions about my mother and fathers personal relationship. I didn't find out about his "gayness'" until he was on his death bed. My mother would brush off any question as to what went wrong, why they weren't together anymore. She simply told us she was not able to tell us yet. She kept his secret until his dying day.

About a week ago, she told me the story of her and my father’s plan to get married. My dad was clearly a gay man. But they were in love and wanted to have a family. Love is love my friend. She spoke of how everyone thought it was the wrong choice to make. It would never work. They decided to marry in secret, to tell their families afterwards. They knew if they told anyone, they would try to stop it from happening. She looked at me and said, "no one can tell me that was the wrong decision, because look at what I have now, 2 perfect children, this amazing family"

Today I asked my mom 2 questions. "Did you really, really know he was gay?" and "Why did you marry him?" This was her response. "You could tell he was gay a mile away. I had recently a couple of gay boyfriends, so the gay part was not a concern to me. They felt like men. We liked each other and became friends. Once he said that someday he would love me the way he wanted to. I liked the sound of that, and he loved me that way from then on.  I married him because he wanted me to. He wanted to be a husband and father. He wanted a home and a business. I wanted to help his dreams. Gay had nothing to do with anything. I loved him. He was a man"

Never let anyone tell you who or how to love.

Black or white, skinny or fat, boy or girl, young or old.

Love knows no boundaries. Love knows no rules.